Hawaii Trip report, week 1

Saturday June 22

“ARRIVAL”

After being home for a grand total of 15 hours (flew in from a biz trip Friday night at 10PM), we were picked up by the car service for the start of our trip to the airport. I asked the driver to come in the house so the dogs wouldn't get out, and of course the dogs take off. After a few well-placed expletives, we gather up the errant pooches, get them back in the house and head to the airport for our 11 hours of flying and waiting to Kauai.

We arrive Kauai a bit early and make our way to Budget to pick up the car. I had reserved a full size to make sure we had enough room for the luggage and had reserved via Fastbreak. Well, this is an island so island time rules. Fastbreak (which usually allows you to go right to the car) is pretty much just a separate line at the car rental place. After waiting about 15 minutes, we get the paperwork and head out to the brand spanking new Lincoln MKS we have been assigned. I notice the car has no key, so assume (rightfully) that is a “keep the key in your pocket” kind of thing. No big deal. I look for the button, can’t find it, keep looking and see on the left side of the central display (car has Sync like a lot of Ford products) a line of buttons P – R – N – D – S……….. Yep, push button automatic. When was the last time you've seen one of those. Interesting times ahead.

Off to the condo we go. Since we are closer to the equator, darkness falls at “normal” hours and since it was close to 9PM it was dark. I brought my GPS (good thing, the GPS in the car doesn't work for some reason) and that was all well and good, but the condo had no address, just directions. Hmm. OK.

Kathryn saw the car had Sirius radio. Too bad Sirius doesn't work in Hawaii…….. Its outside the coverage zone. Scanned for stations and found a super Pop, a really classic rock and lots of reggae stations tho.

So we find the condo easy enough. Hale Awapuhi Sunrise 2J. In Wailua just south of Kapaa. Right on the coast. Key pad entry on gate plus another on the door. All is good. We get in and see our first visions of the ocean. Of course its dark, so not much to see ;)

E is hungry and a bit crabby from the long flight, so we head out toward the ABC store to find some quick food and end up at Foodland instead. This is one of the three grocery stores in Kapa'a. Interesting mix of local, Asian and typical American fare for sale. Beer and wine are surprisingly “normal” in price. Apple jacks? Not so much. $6 for a box. Ouch….. Case of bottled water, a few coke zeros, some milk the aforementioned Apple Jacks. About $25. Wow. This could get pricey in a hurry.

Midnight (OK it was more like 2AM in Dallas) snack and off to bed.

No air conditioning, so we have the tri-pane sliding door wide open to let the sounds of the ocean in.

Sunday, June 23

“BEEP BEEP BEEP GOES THE PANCAKES?”

5AM………Wake up to, what’s that? Rain? Really? Oh well.

Decided to have a lazy day and didn’t plan anything. Decided on Eggberts in Coconut Marketplace for breakfast having read good things on Tripadvisor. Got in the car, plugged in the place in the GPS and off we go. 1 whole mile…….. Coulda walked. Shoulda walked. Why? In a word? 

Pancakes……..

Not just ANY pancakes. Banana, macadamia nut monsters lovingly drowned in coconut syrup. Er, Mer, Gersh………. Yum

Lisa and I split a stack of three with a side of two eggs (one each) and a side of portugese sausage. She didn't finish. I ate all mine like my mutha always said I had to…… E got French toast (not finished) K got a short stack (two) of cinnamon pancakes (also not finished), coffee, milk orange juice and a $2.50 Bloody Mary rounded out the fare.

There were three preteen girls doing a hula show at the restaurant that we got to watch. Cool. We walked away sated and $63 poorer ($60 for breakfast, $3 donation to the girls hula school) for the experience.

We walked around Coconut Marketplace a bit post gorging. Being Sunday not much was open, but we popped into a couple small shops including one where the lady there taught the chicas how to wrap a sarong into various outfits.

Rain came and went all day. We decided to check out the condo area a bit. It’s a small place with a small communal pool and a tiny beach at the bottom of the hill. We did a little beachcombing and met a local family (we think) that was surf fishing. East side beaches are a little dangerous due to rip tides, so no swimming there (and we were not in suits anyway).

We decided since the weather wasn’t awesome that we’d drive around a bit. Headed south to Lihue and found the signs for Wailua Falls. Into the GPS we go and we’re on our way to our first adventure. After a fail on the GPS wanting to take us through some private land with a gate, we make it to the Falls. I can just hear Ricardo Montalban saying “Welcome to Fantasy Island”. Yep. This is the falls in the opening credits to FI. Cool. Rain on and off. Get a little wet, take a few pics, then off to Walmart for some provisions (sunscreen, etc.). It is there we see our first instance of infestation by Kauai's version of the skyrat – Chickens

They are everywhere. Roosters, hens, even chicks. All running around acting like pigeons or seagulls. Never saw one enter the store though.

On the way back to the condo, I see a sign for Opaekaa Falls, so Falls number two. This time, it RAINED. But got a couple quick pics and ran back to the car.

Back to the condo to put suits on with the intent of heading to Anini beach on the north shore. On the way its dark and raining…. See a trend here? So we head back south, thinking maybe one of the beaches close to the condo. Type “beach” as a point of interest and find Hanama’ulu State Beach pop up. OK, let’s go. A quick drive through a residential neighborhood followed by some twisty roads down to the shore and we arrive. Where to park….. Hmm. Ask the cops standing there. They say “not here”. Huh? They proceed to tell us the river that feeds the into the ocean near the beach at that point is full of, how should we put this, animal refuse and is therefore not a good place to swim. OK. Thanks. Any suggestions? Yep. Poipu to the south or Lydgate to the north. Since we knew Lydgate was close to the condo and it was around 230 already, we opt for Lydgate.

Nice family beach with a protected “pool” built by stacking lava rocks into a type of artificial reef above the water. Water splashed over the top occasionally (it was close to high tide) and freshens the water. It rains a bit. We stay about an hour (not much sun) then back to the condo.

Dinner is a family fave. Pasta with Ham and peas in White sauce plus bread and a bottle of Cote du Rhone. Redbox is at the Foodland where we got the pasta so we rented Warm Bodies (Romeo and Juliet in a post zombie apocalypse America). Meh

Somewhere around 5 PM, we start hearing the telltale beep of a bad battery in a smoke detector. Great. Which one of the 27 detectors is it? Listen for the beep, narrow it down, pull the battery and look for a replacement. No joy. Back to Safeway for a frickin battery (and some wine, and a few other things). Send email to the condo manager, after trying to call, but it’s Sunday, so…………

Monday June 24

“CHOPPERS AND MAXIMAS”

Slept in today……………………. Got up at 6

Kids still asleep, not sure what the day holds for us. Skies are overcast. Check weather.com to see pretty much every day this week has a 30+% chance of rain. Wonderful. Decide we need to start checking some things off the bucket list and decide to do a helicopter tour. Call, make reservations for 12:45 trip and head out after bfast at the condo. Everybody grabs a coat, long pants, and a camera for the trip.

Decide to detour to Walmart for bug spray, a beach mat and a few other things, then head back to Wailua Falls since we had the big camera. New pics ensue.

Along the way I notice the tranny slipping some. Actually modulating some. Weird behavior. Then the acceleration goes to almost nothing. Oh boy. Time to trade out. Call Budget and ask for a replacement car. They say: “Sure, fill it up and then bring it back and we’ll swap it out”. I say “We are at the airport, is there a gas station here?” Sure right down Highway 50. Wherever that is. GPS fail #2 ensures when we type in POI info for “gas station” and proceed to not see the first THREE gas stations pointed out by the GPS. Yay. 20 minutes later, we find a Chevron totally by accident, avoid looking at the teeth of this particular gift horse and fill her up. Car then decides it wants to work correctly. I decide, Too bad, you're done….. Back to Budget who replaces our spanking new Lincoln with a fairly hardly (is that a word) ridden Nissan Maxima (“Its bigger than a full size. It’s a premium”. Ya right…… but it runs fine).

Back to Jack Harter Helicopters for our tour. We opted for a doors off one hour ride. No question, this is the way to do a helicopter tour. An hour in the air seeing pretty much the entire island is more than cool. Pricey? Yep. Worth it? You bet. With the rain coming and going, waterfalls abound. Most are totally inaccessible by land, but you get to the see them by air.  And there are a LOT

Waimea Canyon is also very cool, with all kinds of reds and ochers and……. Interesting dichotomy between lush green jungle and dry desert canyon. Just over the pass.

Next stop, NaPali coast. The weather cooperates nicely allowing all the colors to come through. In a word? BEAUTIFUL.  Every shade of blue and green you can think of against white sand beaches, open top caves and trail leading to the ocean.

But I have to say, the highlight of the trip was going into the Wai’ale ale crater. We leave the clear coast with all its colors and enter a surreal world of fog and coolness. We think, Great. Fog. But it turned out to be GREAT! FOG!!!. It was eerie and beautiful at the same time with uncountable (OK I didn’t try) waterfalls flowing thanks to the cloud cover and rain. Awesome.

So. Many. Picture. Opportunites. Snap snap snap. 100, snap snap snap, 200, snap snap sn…… Crap. Battery died. Yep. So many pics in a row the battery completely drained itself. Luckily my backup dancer, I mean photographer (E) was ready with her camera for the crater falls I missed due to the electrons decided to vacate their home in the Canon.  

Not having made it south previously, we hop in the car and drive to Koloa to check things out as they were supposed to have a farmers market that day. Nice drive including passing through the “tree tunnel” on the way and about 10 minutes later we arrive at “historic” Koloa Town. Turns out the market is only on for an hour and started at 2, so we completely missed it. But they are now up in Lihue until 5……..

Since we had not eaten as a potential precaution for the helli ride, we decided to grab some grub. Looking around for a place we end up at Pizzetta on the main drag. Sit down to get some pizza and COOL!! Happy hour. $1.99 slices of cheese or pepperoni, some pupus (appetizers) in the form on “cheese sticks” and stuffed mushrooms, with a few drinks and the bill? $21. Wow. Hawaii and we get out for under $40. Met a couple (and kids) who noticed my Purdue shirt and turns out they are also Purdue grads, though a bit younger. Small world. BOILER UP!!

Take a trip by the Koloa Fish Market on the way out to check out the fish situation. Pricey, but they have some local stuff. Hmmmm. Not this trip.

Back to Lihue to find the farmers market and it is a bust. $7 pineapples? I don’t think so. They are $3 in the grocery……..

Sooooooo back toward the condo, stopping at Safeway for some Ahi Poke (for me) and a pineapple for E.

Snacks for dinner since we ate late.

Remember that smoke detector? 2AM, chose the wrong detector. Dang it. Finally just pull the detector completely off the wall and remove the batteries, putting the detector into the fridge just in case It decides to chirp more.

Plug in Canon battery for a recharge

Tuesday, June 25

“BEACH, SEALS, SPLOTCHES AND FRUIT BOMBS ”

Woke up early again.  Head out to the Lanai with my laptop, checked emails, looked at weather and various things. Decided we needed a beach day. Lisa wakes up and starts making coffee, I tell her STOP. Starbucks. Off we go.  Venti’s all around (OK, kids are still asleep so just the two of us.) 

Decided to check out the Activites kiosk and meet Kollette, we talk about a few things and how the pricing works. As you can guess the best price requires meeting with a timeshare company to hear their pitch. Been there, done that. Easy enough. How long is the pitch? 90 minutes? Piece of cake. Let’s do it so we can get the awesome discounts. Tomorrow at 8:30? Perfect.

Since we had just seen the Napali coast by air and the cool sea caves, we decide to book a zodiac tour for Friday. Done. Experience to follow.

On to Ziplining. Anything available this afternoon? Nope, but other days are open. OK let’s consult the kids

What about Waliua kayak? Nope, but its open later in the week. Same situation.

On the way back to the condo spot a farmers market in the coconut marketplace. Not an officially sanctioned version, but who cares. Get 5 awesome small yellow mangos, a bunch of bananas, a bag of lettuce, a cuke and a  tomato for about $7. Much better.

Get back and the girls are up. Decide we need sun, so head south to Poipu for a beach day. Detour to Spouting Horn to see the show (google is your friend). Then make our way to Poipu State beach for our second beach visit. Poipu beach is right in front of the Marriott Waiohai Resort and is a family beach with a break wall that keeps the tides down, but still allows the water in and a little bit of surf. One issue thought is there are a lot of individual lava rocks right off the beach, making it difficult to enjoy whatever surf there is without a snorkel and fins. There is also a reef where you can snorkel. We settle in with our newly acquired beach mats and snorkel sets (condo had some but not enough) and get busy doing nothing. The girls decide to snorkel while I hold down the fort. They see some fish and even a green turtle. Kewl. I go in to the water for a bit, but couldn’t get past my waist before we got to the rocks.

Decide to try out Brennecke’s deli for lunch. Good sandwiches, even dogs and shave ice, and the prices are even “reasonable”.

At one point we hear the lifeguard do his best Charlie Brown adult voice (mwah mwah, mwah mwah mwah, mwah). I look up and see these ladies holding signs and rope and figure out they are the monk seal “volunteers”. Turns out Monk Seals are endangered and the volunteers try to keep interaction with humans to a minimum as a result, roping off areas where seals end up etc. Anyway, we see this male moseying along in the surf. OK. That’s cool…. He proceeds to meander down the beach in the water and eventually takes off back to the ocean. About 30 minutes later, Charlie Brown is back and there is a second monk seal. This time female. She decides it’s a great time to catch a few rays, so makes her way up onto the beach for some sunning. Of course the volunteers are right there and this time, since she came up on the beach itself, rope on a section. OK, We can share.

About this time everyone is a little tired an ready to be done for the day, so we take our leave of Queen Sealio and head back to the car.

Note to self. Spray sunscreen works much better when there is no wind. Best to not apply AT the beach……. Everyone ended up with splotches of red after our visit. You live, you learn. Ouch, and ouch

Coming back through Koloa, and having struck out at EVERY store I tried, I cave and buy some fresh Ono from the Koloa Fish market. I ask for between 1.5 and 2 lbs and my answer is “He needs to prep another fish, we don’t have enough right this second, please wait. Yay. Super fresh. I Like It. $17 per lb is a bit pricey given it probably came out of the water fairly close to where I bought it, but beggars cannot be choosers some times.

At the condo I start prepping the fish. Decide to see whats in the cupboard and find soy (good) garlic powder (good), some leftover white wine (which is surprising that there WAS any left over…), pepper flakes and mix up a quick marinade for the ono.

I also start thinking about what to go with it and decide on a mango, pineapple, cucumber salsa.  So get that prepped and head back out to pick up a few more things for dinner. Pick up another movie

Try Foodland, not impressed. Back to Safeway. Have a little hiccup with the ginger as I bought a very small piece that ended up costing $0.04….. Haha, but a lime is a buck . Ugh.

Rented another movie. This time Red Dawn. Fell asleep before the end.

The condo has a Blu-ray media center hooked up to the TV. That’s cool, but for some ungodly reason, Hollywood has to turn up the special effect sounds about 80 decibels louder that the dialogue in any given movie, so in order to hear the dialog, we have explosions going on at full sound. Our neighbors love us I am sure.

Case in point? About halfway through the movie, we hear this loud “BOOM” on the side wall (condo is an end unit). WTH? Go to check it out and there is a piece of very ripe fruit on the ground and a large impact mark on the wall above. Hmmm. Its been windy, but I think we’ve been hit…… Hope I am jumping to conclusions, but I think it was out downstairs neighbor (Condo is also on the 2nd – top – floor).  Regardless, E is scared and so I end up sleeping with K downstairs as a result.

Remember the dead camera battery? Yeah. Not the battery. The entire camera died.... We have backups, but not SLRs. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Wednesday June 26

“TIMESHARES, BURGERS AND THE NORTH SHORE”

Condo Show and tell day. Yay. Let’s get this over with. Shell Vacation Club. Looks OK, but the property they are at is ooooooooollllllllddddddd. Tell bubbly April we have been down this road before and it didn’t make sense, she prods and decides they have a program for us. I check emails and have one from my boss. Its not important, but April doesn’t need to know that. Typical back and forth and we go to see a unit. Remember the ooooooollllllllllllllddddddddddddd comment? Same applies here. Cant believe it is the model. Whatever, we are not interested at all. On our way back, we see a group of men in the lobby. April gets all excited and proceeds to schmooze, leaving us hanging. Not sure this is a stall tactic, or what, but it kinda ticked me off. Again, Whatever, we are not interested at all. She eventually comes back and says “That’s the president of Wyndham (parent company of SVC), blah blah blah. Whatever, we are not interested at all. I actually have not found any Wyndham properties that are not ooooooooooooolllllllllllllldddddddddddd. Anyway, while she is spieling, I pull up reviews of SVC. Dismal is an understatement. Didn’t find any positive comments. We thanked her, told her no the requisite number of times and walked out.

Time wasted? About 90 minutes. Benefit? About $350 in savings. Not bad. About $100 per hour value for each of us.

Back to the condo. Since we went south yesterday we figured let’s head north today. So off we go. Decide to go to the end of the road and make it to Ke’e beach. This is literally the end of the road. Its stops at the beachhead. Turn around and try to find a place to park, see a family leaving. Score. About ¼ mile jaunt back to the beach.

Beach is sandy, but mixed with black sand, so it is HOT. We head into the water to cool our overheating tootsies and do a little beachcombing. E slips on one of the smooth lava rocks but is OK. We walk about ½ mile when we start to feel what seems like dozens and dozens of small insect bites. Turns out to be the sand blowing against our feet,, so we turn around and walk back. There is a reef that wraps around the cove in about 4 feet of water. I grab a snorkel and mask and head in but there is a big current. Since it is shallow, I just stand up every once in a while. See some fish, but nothing spectacular. Hopefully that changes Friday on our Zodiac tour.

I have to say, the beaches look awesome in pictures and from the air, but when on them, I have not been impressed. Most beaches drop down to the water at a fairly high angle making rip tides prevalent. Also, the proximity of the reefs and rock fields close to shore makes for possibly interesting snorkeling, but lousy water play. I have heard Hanelei Bay is a sandy bottom beach, so may be better for swimming vs snorkeling.

After about an hour or so at Ke’e, we head back down the road. We stop and park at Hanea Beach Park and go into the dry cave there. Pretty interesting for a few minutes detour. Lisa loves coconut and there was a couple selling fresh at the beach, so we drop $5 on fresh coconut meat. It’s OK, but a bit dry for me.

We check out the beach some and there is a huge swell going on. With the angle of the beach approach, the waves are cresting right at the shore. Nobody in the water. Shame. Looks fun (and probably a little dangerous)

Tunnels Beach is right next door, but we have no idea how to get there. Doesn’t seem to be street access and with the surf, going via beach is out. Oh well. Supposed to be a nice beach.

What’s next? How about Queen’s bath? OK Good. Into Princeville we go. GPS is our friend this time. Drops us at the end of a U shaped street (cannot remember the name) and we find the trailhead. Of course we are all wearing flip flops……. Turns out it is a TRAIL. Not a path. Oh well. We stop for some pics of waterfalls, etc. then keep going. At one point, I drop one of the non-waterproof cameras. “Luckily” it stays “dry”, landing in some mud. At least it wasn’t the water directly. That was 6 inches further away. Phew.

Camera is muddy but in working order, so onward.

See the sign talking about how stupid people die and keep going ;) There is a large lava field that makes up this part of the coastline. Inside this lavafield are multiple areas where there are lava “coves” Queen’s bath is the third one. We see the first two. Pretty. Take a pic, move to the next, then get to the "bath". There is a family of people there. Kids jumping in, others snorkeling, then we see the tide come over the top of the lava wall. Guy disappears. Oh there he is. Fine, no issues.

All of us are carrying something not friendly with water, and no towels or anything, so we pass on the water portion of our adventure and head back after admiring the unique feature that is Queen’s bath. Along the way we see two guys jump into one of the other coves. Keep in mind that these coves rise about 20 feet in seconds when a wave crests there. And these morons are jumping in. One seems to start getting swept out to sea. He’s swimming in place, not gaining ground. Being the good person that I am, I tell the girls, “these idiots are gonna die, I don’t want to see it” so we move along. I turn back and Things 1 and 2 make it out of the water. Not sure if they ever got out of the cove alive, but at least I saw them get out of the water and they were alive last time I saw them. Boneheads.

Back up the trail a little more winded than going in and its’ off to our next stop.

Kilauea Lighthouse? OK. Lets’ go. Head over that way. Along the way, we see signs for Anini Beach Park. E had seen pics of Anini, so we head in. And head in. And head in. We get to what might be a beach and see it is a boat launch. OK, lets keep going. Get to a park with lots of campers. Hmmmmmm. Say screw it and head back out. Not sure where the actual beach is at Anini, but we never found it.

Find the lighthouse easy enough but he park is closed so we can only take pics from a distance. We meet an Indian family from Austin (smaller world) and exchange pleasantries. E wants to see a sunset, so we try to figure out the best place. After some googling, we end up back in Princeville at the St Regis for drinks and sunset.

Sun sets and so do we. Out that is $37 for a Negroni and a Ginger Margarita. We go back to the valet stand and give them the ticket and wait for the car. And wait some more and wait some more. It is then I realize that I never gave the keys to the valet when we got there. Duh. Keyless start kept the car running even after I left with the “key”, but they had no key to give back to me since it was in my pocket…. So start pushing buttons and find the car neatly parked not too far away, proceed to go get it. Feel bad for the guy who is frantically searching for a key he will never find so give them a tip and we are out.

First time driving in the dark on the island. And it is DARK. Make it back to condo around 830 and make the rest of the pasta for dinner. This time with a Clos du Bois Chardonnay.

Thursday, June 27

“HAPPY BOX AND HULA PIE”

What to do. E says “No beach” since she has a pretty lousy sunburn (as do we all). OK, How about a kayak up the Wailua River. No. OK, How about ziplining? I dunno. Great. How about we stay in? Whatever.

Well, command decision time. Call Kollette back: “Find me a zipline tour”. She calls back with Koloa ziplines at 12:30. Perfect. Price is good too due to the awesome discount still in effect. 12:30? Book it.

Everyone gets ready and we head down to Anchor Head Shopping district near Kalapaki Beach in Lihue. There is a cruise ship in port today, so about eleventy bazillion extra people. We still manage to find a parking spot and meet up with Kollette to get our voucher, then off to Koloa. Gotta stop at Walmart first for some 800+ sunblock as the 30 SPF we have is not enough for the girls. Pick up a sixer of water and some awesome new plasticized sneakers for Lisa and E as they say you need close toed shoes with tread on the zipline to protect your tootsies. Now off to Koloa. Been here before it seems.

GPS says there is a Subway in Koloa. If there is, we never found it………. Another GPS fail. Lunch today is at Koloa Deli. Sandwiches all around plus a bag of maui onion chips and a large Arnold Palmer in a can. Not bad. And right around the corner from Koloa Ziplines office

So the time comes, we drive about a mile into an old sugar plantation and meet Pete. Pete is from Friendsylvania as the ink on him arm states. Really nice guy. He gets us to the staging area where we meet Koa (Kekoa, but Koa is easier – his words) and Dylan. Koa gets us harnessed up, Dylan and Pete are our guides on this nine zip course. We are with a family of five from Ohio with three daughters (12 year old twins and a 16 year old) and a couple from Northern California for today’s festivities. Girl from California got slammed into a reef while surfing the day before and scraped up her leg. She shall be referred to as Sharkbait. Her boyfriend/husband/whatever just got out of the Army. Thanks for your service

We get all harnessed up correctly, which takes some time, and are told of two positions to use. Coffee Table and Starfish. Coffee table goes fast, starfish slows you down. Next is the ride to zip one. The ride is a combination of fun and terrifying (jk) including a few helmet checks against the roof. Road is extremely bumpy and we hit every pot hole. The company that runs the zipline also runs an ATV company and uses the same road as a starting point. Looks fun. Especially the bigger dune buggies…….. Me: Let’s do that Saturday before our flight!!!!! Them: “no”.  But I digress…….

Zip one is 700 feet and the beginning to the course. Dylan goes first to get over to the receiving platform I go last, so wait for everyone else to go. Mom from Ohio is SCARED of heights as is Sharkbait. So a little bit of Pete stating: “Screaming helps” and the subsequent screaming ensues. Pretty easy zip and a good intro. Army goes inverted. Show off……..

Zip 2 is the 3rd longest at 1000 feet and is also fairly easy. Same screams from the same people. No inversions this time. Before we go we all get our picture taken by Pete, who carries a dinosaur in his pocket (Is that a dinosaur in your pocket.......??)  for just such an occasion. Dino gets in the pics with us too.

Zip 3 is 1700 feet. Now we’re talking. Coffee table in folks due to the wind. OK.

I go first........... And have to starfish……. Go figure. (Shut up. I'm just a little "fluffy") Twin 1 doesn’t get all the way in and needs help.

Dylan purposefully (I think) goes slow and doesn’t complete, to show off his mad inverted cable walking skills.

Zips 4 through 7 are good fun and scenery is nice. The course is on a former sugar plantation owned (not the course, just the land) by Steve Case of AOL fame. It has been replanted with various trees since the sugar cane industry ended on this island about 10-15 years ago. So we are going through new forest. Of course there is a lot of rain in Kauai, so the trees grow fast.

We stop for a snack at the end of Zip 7 and get attacked by a wild band of chickens. Mom from Ohio is also scared of chickens….. Really?

Dylan finds a root beer plant and lets us all smell the root. Smells more like wintergreen to me, but I'm no botanist, nor do I play one on TV. He then shows us a cool plant that has leaves that fold up when disturbed and open up again after 5 -20 minutes or so. Cool.

The piece de resistance of the tour is zip 8. 2560 feet. Yes ½ of 1 mile. It looks smaller on TV……… and on the platform. At the end we are to shout “Happy Box”. What is the happy box? For you men out there, it is the platform you stand on to relive pressure from the nether regions. ‘nuff said.

Lisa goes first. The cable transmits the sound of the bearings in the pulley mechanism we use to glide very well. Sounds like a turbine engine spooling up. After what seems like an hour, we hear the cable slow. She is over some water at this point nowhere near the end platform. Will she make it?  Hope so.. In the end she was fine.

She shouts the obligatory “Happy Box!!”

E and K go next, same scenario. I go next and try to video while holding the coffee table position the whole way because we need the speed. Right? Starfish…  leading to a 360 as I twist away and come in for a perfect landing. Total flight time? Roughly 47 seconds at a speed of about 50 mph. Yay!!!

Once the group gets in its back to the car for goodbyes etc.

At this point it’s about 5, so we decide to detour to Duke’s Canoe Club in Kalapaki. I remember to give the valet the keys this time and we head in.  Its’ Aloha hour and we score a table near the band made up of a Uke player and a bass player belting out favorites like “What a wonderful world – Hawaiian version” and the Pina Colada song. “Beach Drinks” are $5. OK, what are our choices. Mai Tai? Nah. How about a Tropical Itch?? Sounds like a disease. I’m in. 

So the drink comes out and a few minutes later we get this thing the size of a small car on a plate. It is a sea of fudge covered with macadamia nuts with a model of the Napali coast consisting or oreo cookie crust, macadamia nut ice cream, more fudge and whipped cream…….. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to Hula Pie………..  Now I don’t typically eat ice cream due to some “sensitivities” but I forgo logic and dive in with the others for a few bites. Yum. Drinks not bad either.

Shortest visit with a Valet ever. we were in and out in an hour.

E: Can we  get dressed for dinner for once? Sure. Back to the condo for showers and gussying up. Everyone puts on a dress I put on a Hawaiian shirt and shorts (which is known as dressing up in Kauai) and we head out to the Shrimp Station. Turns out it is a counter service type of place with some tables set up and NO BOOZE!!!!! Just soft drinks. Food is good tho. Coconut shrimp, fish and chips, shrimp tacos and beer battered shrimp. All with fries of course. We took leftovers back and hit the hay early since we needed to leave by 7 for our boat tour Friday morning

Friday June 28, 2013

“EXCITEMENT”

Today is our last full day on the island and arrives early. About 2 AM for me as I look up into the skylight above the bed (Who designed this??) and see the moon. Drift back in and out and finally get up around 6.

The whole gang is “uuuuggghhh its early”, but we are in the car and out by 7:10 for the 30 minute ride to Port Allen on the south side of the island for our Napali Coast Adventure tour

We arrive a Blue Dolphin Charters, check in, sign the requisite waivers keeping us from suing them in the unfortunate event of our death, blah blah blah and meet up with Cody one of the crew for the boat trip. Get sized up for fins since there is a snorkel stop on the tour, meet our fellow travelers which consists of a man and his two kids from Idaho via Houston and Austin (What’s up with Texas on this trip) and a family from Brasil.

Exchange pleasantries, but never names (weird, I know) and get in the van for the short trip to the pier where we meet Joe our captain for today's ride. He is sitting in an open air Zodiac raft. If you are not familiar with these, it is s rigid hull, inflatable raft used by special forces teams etc. GOES FAST.

Joe throws out the cautionary info he required to due by the coast guard and peppers it with this favorite word: “Excitement”. Maybe 10 times. Keep one hand on the side rope guides and at least one foot on the deck ropes to make sure you don’t fall over board, straight back to avoid back strain. Don’t want to lose anyone.

He mentions that the front of the boat is more “exciting”.  I end up there. Cool. Great views, awesome weather, wind in my face and BAM!!! First swell and resulting slamming back into the water. I’m thinking “ WTH am I doing up here?” BAM!! Again……… and again, and again, and again……………. 

And again……

Joe spots some turtles along the way and stops for us to get some pics, then we see a pod of spinner dolphins hunting. Our waterproof camera takes forever to get a picture and I miss most of what would be awesome action shots of the dolphins, but at least we saw them in person

Back on the water. “We’re lucky, the sea is calm today”. BAM!!!, rinse, repeat……

We get to the missile range on the west side of the island and I move to the back to the boat on the other side. Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch better. Only bam not BAM!!!!

Tour continues. We see various landmarks from Hawaiian lore plus movies sites for Jurassic Park, King Kong, Pirates of the Caribbean, Six Days Seven nights and a few others I don’t remember. Seems Kauai is a popular place to mimic the Caribbean, Vietnam, Cambodia, etc.

Next stop sea caves. “When we get around the point here, things might get a little bouncy”. What?? What do you call what we just did? Jeesh.

Sea caves are cool and since we are in a small boat we can get into them. The best is the open ceiling cave. Which has a large opening in the ceiling, hence the name. People have been married here, video and photo shoots have been done here. Only access? Small boat. Very cool.

We pass the double door cave but don’t go in. Not sure why. Looked big enough to get into. Bummer. It has a waterfall inside according to what I read.

After we see the entirety of the Napali coast, we head back from lunch and snorkeling. I had planned to shave a bare strip on my lip for the mask to seal, but forgot, so I could snorkel for about 5 minutes before I had to empty my mask. After about 5 times doing this, I called it quits. Lisa and the girls stayed on and Lisa got some cool pics of fish and even a turtle. 

On the way back into the boat, Lisa give the waterproof camera to E who somehow misses it and it drops into the ocean. Oops. Luckily the water was clear and only about 20 feet deep so one of the guys dives and retrieves it. Olympus lives up to their claim of waterproof to 33 feet and we get the saved pics (See facebook). Phew.

The ride back was a little calmer for the first half as we had the wind at our back this time, but still way bumpy. When we pass the point from West to south, the seas are choppy so we stop 4 times on the way back to relax after BAM!!! BAM!!! BAM!!! BAM!!! (you get the picture).

Back to the pier and office for tshirts and goodbyes. Joe told me about a brewpub across the street so of course I have to check it out. A wide selection of beers and I settle on the Wai’Ale’Ale Golden Ale. Fairly hoppy (but with a varietals I am not familiar with) and a relative bargain at $5.75 a pint.

At this point, everyone is whipped and we head back to the condo around 2:30. What? 2:30? Man is that all? Start driving on auto pilot due to being wrecked physically from the Zodiac causing the sleepies (not helped by the beer) and I take my first nap of this trip….

How is it possible that we are 6 days into this trip and today is my first nap??? It was gooooooooood. 2 solid hours of midday slumber. My kinda vacation.

The rest of the day was laziness defined. Cleaned out the fridge for dinner.

Tally for the week: 3 bottles of wine, a mixed 12 pack of Kona Brewing beer, and half a bottle of Svedka vodka (Friday IS martini night after all…. As was Tuesday, and Wednesday……)